What Drives Undesired Behaviors and How to Get Ahead Of Them
What motivates behavior?
This critical question has been in the drivers seat of behavior analysis for centuries. And naturally so. The human mind is a fine tuned and efficient machine, and though sometimes human behavior can seem mindless, habitual, or meaningless, our behavior is extraordinarily calculated and designed to serve a purpose of getting a particular need met. Of course, if someone were to interview you about the motivation behind turning on the windshield wipers in the car, tucking your hair behind your ear, or chewing your food with one side of your mouth before the other every time, you may roll your eyes or question the intention of the interviewer. But when you really stop to analyze the reasons you do the little things you do, it can help you to understand more about the human psyche and the motivation behind the bigger behaviors, too. Perhaps the undesirable ones, like midnight snacking, overspending, interrupting, or even hitting the snooze button a time too many in the mornings, may make a little more sense too.
Understanding is only the first piece of the puzzle. When you understand what motivates your own behavior, you can begin to break down how to get those needs met in more functional ways and eventually eradicate your own problematic behaviors altogether. Not only does it serve you to understand your own behavior, but as you begin to master self awareness, you’ll better understand the behaviors of those around you too, and can more effectively help mitigate the undesirable behaviors of those you care for as well. So, what motivates your behavior?
Starting right where we are can be beneficial, so let’s start with your phone. What purpose does engaging with your phone today serve? There are clearly tangible and observable needs your phone can fulfill, such as being able to reach out to others for help, being able to get around, ordering things you need, or using it as your wallet or keys, and so on. There are also less observable, but still very valid human needs your phone meets for you as well, such as the need for connection to others, the need for a sense of belonging, the need to escape or detach, or the need to feel a sense of purpose. Phones can act as a great pacifier to some of these needs, but over dependence can keep us from true fulfillment and satisfaction.
Now, if you are like most of us, and you want to reduce the amount of time you spend on your phone, start analyzing what it’s doing for you, and why. Do your best to practice observing these behaviors and motivations without self judgment. Rather than looking through the lens of shame or guilt for your behaviors, try to take on the perspective of a scientist observing your behavior and motivations from the other room. Once you better understand what needs your phone is meeting in you personally, you can start to get those needs met in more fulfilling and productive ways, and really drastically reduce your dependence on your phone. Join a class, sport, or a social group in your community, or schedule in more time with family and friends into your week if you are seeking connection. If you are seeking escape or refuge, pick up a relaxing hobby, such as reading, music, or art. If it’s purpose or belonging you are seeking, find ways to serve your community or pour into others. Start investing your time and energy into these things before even trying to drop the screen time, and see what starts to happen naturally. Give it eight intentional weeks and you’ll be a new you, reaching for your phone less, and feeling more alive than before.
See, behavior analysis is so much more than just the observation of one’s behavior. Our behaviors — even the undesirable ones— can be significant clues to what’s going on inside, what’s important to us, and what we truly need. Take a look at those around you and those you care for, and their undesirable behaviors. Maybe a loved one arrives ten minutes late to just about every function. Sure, we could say they manage their time poorly and leave it at that. Or, we could look a little longer at the individual and what needs this behavior is meeting? Perhaps procrastination is the culprit, which is an emotional regulation problem. This person may be getting relief from the anxiety or overwhelm of getting out the door by putting it off a few extra minutes. No, observing and understanding the undesirable behavior does not excuse it, and it’s not enough to make it go away. But, if this person really wanted to, they could really explore that emotional regulation need and find relief in other ways that won’t impact their schedule or relationships. In turn, they’d experience more freedom.
If you are in a caregiving role in life, behavior analysis can be key to getting ahead of undesirable behaviors. Consider a toddler, still up two hours past bedtime who hasn’t had a nap that day. We’ve all experienced this in one way or another. This child will likely be emotionally volatile, reluctant to obey, and just miserable (and in turn, so will everyone else!). And anyone experienced in caregiving would take one look at that behavior and immediately leap to the conclusion that this little guy needs rest, and they will take steps to get that need met. The same can be true for emotional needs. While caregiving, it’s important to recognize the extremely human need for things such as control, autonomy, stimulus regulation, attention, belonging, a true sense of purpose, love, and fulfillment. These human needs motivate human behaviors, regardless of age or ability. When we observe the behaviors of others and truly recognize their needs, we have the key to what’s going on inside. Meeting these needs can help eradicate undesirable behaviors as well as provide a more fulfilling and joyful life for the vulnerable people we serve.
The reality is that not every human need can be fulfilled by outside factors, and you will never be able to heal someone out of their undesirable behaviors for them. The work must be done in the individual. But, as a caregiver, you have the opportunity to foster an environment where physical and emotional needs can be met in functional ways with ease first, and undesired behaviors fall into the background naturally. That’s the magic of behavior analysis, and the key to getting ahead of undesirable behaviors while creating a more fulfilling life for the people we serve.
